a few years ago i found myself at a conference in ireland with a few hundred other crazy people. i’d just gotten home from that time i traveled the world and i didn’t have a clue what i was doing with my life. i remember being in that room; confused, angry, heartbroken and overwhelmed all at once. transition was happening so fast around me i felt like i was spinning. one morning during worship the lord prompted someone to do some declarations. one declaration in particular. “i am a woman of courage,” i stood on a chair and screamed. over and over and over everyone in the room chanted. courage. courage. courage.
i was laying in bed tonight thinking of that moment. i was thinking about how i am certain i became more courageous in that space. as i was reflecting i decided i don’t think it came from some big announcement to the world. courage took hold inside of me because of the small act of standing on the chair and opening my mouth. it’s in the day to day things. it’s in the moments when we quietly choose.
lately, i’ve seen courage on display.
but it hasn’t looked like giant gestures and loud proclamations. nope.
it’s looked like telling roommates they are settling in that relationship.
it’s looked like the middle of the night text messages that say “i messed up. again.”
it’s looked like circling yes on the survey and admitting for the first time “that happened to me.”
it’s looked like speaking up in a meeting and stepping out of your comfort zone.
it’s looked like accountability and repentance and the receiving of grace.
it’s been saying yes to that date and no to that ice cream.
it’s looked an awful lot like emails that just say “help.”
it’s looked like break ups and changing majors.
it’s certainly looked like hard conversations scattered with tears and laughs and sighs.
lately, courage on display has mostly looked like a new bunch of crazies. a slew of incredible, beautiful, wide-eyed college women.
how blessed i am by them.