for me, the traveling has finally come to a halt. four months on the field and then eight weeks of traveling to san francisco to missouri to georgia to ohio back to georgia on to hawaii back to georgia and then seventeen hours to south africa and back to georgia again. i was tired. after south africa i kind of crashed. i was sick and jetlagged and just needed to rest for a minute. i’ve only been home a week and a half, but already feel much more alive and recuperated.
in my resting this last week i’ve been sitting at home. a lot. it’s nice to be back in a place that feels familiar and cozy and safe. sleeping in my own bed again. sitting on my own couch. sipping coffee and letting candles burn. my house is empty during the day as my roommates go off to their jobs. i need myself one of those jobs, so i’ve spent a lot of time searching, filling out applications, re-doing my resume (over and over and over), sending emails, waiting for emails. i wait a lot these days. and push refresh on my inbox incessantly.
waiting. hoping. praying.
in my waiting and hoping and praying i’ve had my itunes keeping me company. some of my favorites are about to release a new album. i pre-ordered it because i’ve got enough things to wait on these days. it’s seriously been on repeat for six days. one song in particular is settling on me.
“you’re faithful. you’re faithful. you’re faithful.
and i’m thankful.
goodbye desert. hello promised land.
i’m shaking off the dust of hopelessness.
and i’m starting to believe again.”
one more time, these are the things i’m choosing to say yes to. today, the declarations don’t have me standing on furniture and screaming (although i’m never opposed). instead it’s in the quiet, peaceful, resting place that i can feel the “yes” becoming more and more a part of who i am.