walking away from the red couch.

my emotions are on high alert today.  the conflicting excitement of what’s about to begin in the next twenty four hours mixed with the fact that i have to say goodbye.  just, well.  there have been some tears.  and maybe a cuss word.  or two. or twelve.

for me, it’s the goodbye of such a sweet season.  because when i come back, everything is sure to be different.  i’m not on hiatus from a routine and rhythm.  something is ending.  something new is starting.  and in four months it’ll be back to square one of figuring out the next thing.  my church is moving to atlanta.  my friends are getting married.  my apartment buddies are leaving and moving all about.  the office as i used to know it doesn’t really exist and won’t be waiting for me.  my job and position have been given up.  i have no idea what i’m walking in to or what awaits me on the other side.  but i feel, with full force today, the stuff i’m walking away from.

i promise this is going to sound absurd.  but one of the hardest things for me to walk away from is a red couch.  not so much the couch itself, but what it’s represented for me.

this red couch isn’t mine. it sits in an apartment just above me and i visit on occasion.   i’ve shared meals on this couch, laughed on this couch, slept on this couch and cried on this couch.

oh my word, how i have cried on this couch.

this couch has heard my dreams, my disappointments and my secrets. it has been a place of both truth and comfort, a place to grieve and a place to find hope again.

it’s been a safe place. a place to exhale.  a place to rest.

but, as good and sweet and necessary as the rest has been, i’m not meant to rest forever.  sitting on that couch too long makes me restless.  hm.  that’s funny – getting restless is maybe the prophetic word that it’s time to “rest less.”

it’s definitely time for me to go.  time for me to walk into some stuff, out of some stuff and away from some stuff.  there’s such joy in seeing some promises fulfilled.  but, man.  it hurts.  it hurts to walk away from things that are so good.  so comfortable.  it’s tough to make the decision that does’t always feel nice.  at the moment, i’d rather just stay on the couch.  

except that i wouldn’t really.  

i know this is right.  i know that i need to be away from the couch for a minute.  and today’s best reminder of God’s love and care for me is His gentle reassurance that the red couch will be waiting for me when i come home.

14 thoughts on “walking away from the red couch.

  1. oh this red couch – crazy the lives it has seen and heard. it has collected them like treasures. me too. every moment of you on that couch is a treasure to me. & i won’t let you sit there one minute more. it is time to get going 🙂 love you long, long time.

  2. Perhaps you need to leave the red couch to clear space for your red love seat…. As we get older our circles get smaller… and this is a good thing. We are proud of you. We are even more proud to call you a friend. The Alonzo’s love you. Always.

  3. Awesome Dad here…..Higgle my Piggle….oh the wonderful places you’ll go. The poor couch will be waiting and wanting to hear your stories when you come back.The rest of us will look forward to hearing and reading about your adventures and the people you touch with your wonderful soul. Be Well. Be happy. Just Be Higgle. Love you.

  4. No matter what happens here or there or around the world, no matter what changes or stays the same, you are getting off that couch and doing the stuff. No matter what. No matter what there will be open arms waiting for you when you return. But I don’t think it’s just the stuff you return to that will be changed. YOU will be changed too. boo freakin yah.

  5. you are going to be amazing and perfect. the beauty is this: you will be to so many, exactly what this red couch has been to you. go, go, go. and love like you’ve never loved before. you are about to explode into something new and the people that follow you will never be the same. love you and believe in you and so thrilled for you.

  6. and just like you left your ra couch behind in walther, after all that evangel and wendy and w1s had been for you… it wouldn’t have been worth it to stay behind in that part of your life. look at all that you would have missed. same thing goes for this red couch 🙂

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